Checking In

I've talked a bit about my struggles with depression and also how I am working to combat those old demons. I think I put this out into the world because writing about it is cathartic for me and my hope is that if anyone else is struggling they may find some solace or inspiration from my story. 

In the beginning of the summer I cleared my calendar to have some breathing space and that was awesome. I'm back to an overstuffed calendar, but this time around I'm putting good things on it like working out and weekly meetings with my friend Christina to check in. With that said though I am feeling overwhelmed so I need to continue to keep some space on my calendar for myself. 

I am on a pretty tight budget right now, which can feel kind of limiting, but there are so many things to do that don't cost money that I'm trying to see the positive. The flip side though can be limiting. I've been trying to not buy clothes for many years and it reached a point where very few articles of clothing and the fact that I was wearing ripped pants at work made me realize I needed some clothes. 

Since I gained weight I felt like I didn't deserve anything and I think I was just trying to hide. This weekend I went through my closet and removed anything ripped, stained or ill fitting (which was a good third of my clothes). It made me take stock of what I had and see the gaps that needed to be filled. Like the fact that I only owned two shirts and one of the shirts has holes in it. Going through this excercise made me want to embrace my quirky sense of style and to stop hiding. 

This past week I felt pretty good and super productive. I finally took my certification test and passed with flying colors. I am now a Certified Interior Decorator. I'm looking forward to helping people make their homes a happy space. Sunday morning I started out pretty motivated, but completely lost steam in the afternoon. I'm trying not to beat myself up because I didn't get everything done that I wanted to. C'est la vie. 

The good news though is that I feel well rested and ready to tackle this week. Onwards and upwards my friends. 

Originally published 9/26/14